I should be dead

[Devil_in_Bliss]

I don't really know where to start with this as I have no idea how to describe or explain this, but I should be dead right now. I remember dying with an intentional overdose on trazadone. *disclaimer* I do not have walking corpse syndrome I fully believe I'm alive right. While the EXACT dosage I took is impossible to know as it's been almost a full year since my death, I have been able to ballpark, give or take 200 milligrams, it as 2850, since the trazadone was my own prescription, by using a previous refill of the same dosage of 50 milligrams. The standard Overdose rate is 600+ milligrams. Despite taking 5x the OD rate I'm a fully functioning human with no brain damage or impairments long term although I've had experiencing with smelling burning flesh in heat that has completely gone away, and I've had stroke like symptoms where my speech became illegible and slurred those have gone away completely now.

The only thing I can attribute my continued existence to is a complete mystery but also something entirely knowable to me. I can still recall how it felt dying as I vividly remember the cold yet not cold fading of awareness creep in (which I now realize was my nerve endings losing all energy and ability to feel), the emptiness of the void and the shining blue and white light that seemed just out of reach as I slowly floated towards its embrace, the realization of just how inconsequential my life had felt and the peace of it all. All of this seems pretty standard and nothing about that stands out to me even now. The only notable thing is what I can't remember, in my last moments I had shouted at the light I didn't actually want to die and the light up until point that just hung their as I slowly floated towards it rushed towards me. That by itself is already concerning but it's my reflection on that event that really intrigues me as I recall that moment as a HARD stop. When we wake up and realize we've abruptly fall asleep there's always a transition from awareness to unconscious however short that we acknowledge existences. However, theirs's none of that here it was a hard stop plain and simple. I think my memory was somehow removed by whatever happened when I died this is the reason, I'm posting this now is to see if anyone has had something like this happen to them before or heard about it?

[Devil_in_Bliss]

Important side note: the incident was never found out, so I was NOT hospitalized nor did any person interfere with the attempt.

[WildWolf]

A Farther Shore by Yvonne Kason.....is a book about NDEs and the associated subtle phenomena. Having brushes with death....being compounded with mystical experiences is much more common than you may think.